At the end of the day, what we’re all looking for in a partner boils down to safety and security.
Does he make you feel like your home, no matter where the two of you are? Do you make him feel that way? What we need to understand is that a lot of the things that make us feel safe are tied to our upbringing. It’s when we’re youngest that we learn about the world, about what can harm us and what can save us. As we get older, these lessons become more deeply engrained in our psyche.
In other words, it’s not your fault if you don’t feel safe in each other’s arms. It’s not his fault either. We all need people in our life that make us feel at home — and that idea of home always triggers a sort of nostalgia.
That’s why so often you hear lovers say that they feel like they’ve known each other for a lifetime, or perhaps even from a previous lifetime. If the two of you have been with each other for years and you don’t feel just right with each other, then chances are that you’re wrong for each other.
So don’t blame yourself. Don’t try to force things. Some people just make better friends than soulmates.